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Le 27 juillet, je pars en vacances et toujours pas de résultats. Le 28 juillet à 9h30, dans ma chambre d’hôtel, le téléphone sonne : « Bonjour Mme la clinique du sein voilà nous avons eu les résultats de votre ponction et lundi vous devez venir faire une biopsie pour approfondir la recherche. ». Je répond que je suis en vacances pour 15 jours et elle me dit : » Profitez bien Mme on fait ça à votre retour ». Là j’ai pensé que j’allais me faire des vacances comme jamais.
De retour, j’ai un rendez-vous pour une biopsie le lundi 17 août. Pas très agréable du tout , j’entends encore le bruit de cet appareil… Résultat dans 10 jours Mme. Mais 3 jours après, le jeudi à 17h15 je rentre du boulot , le téléphone sonne et bam le verdict tombe, ce crabe est bien là. Premier choc intense. Tout s’enchaîne, le corps médical avait eu réunion avant de me revoir. Rendez-vous gynécologue : deuxième choc: « Mme vous devez subir une mastectomie » , je pleure , ma féminité… Je pose la question est-ce que je devrai faire de la chimio ? On ne sait pas , on verra après analyse . J’espère de tout mon cœur que non. Le 10 septembre le grand jour, descendre en salle d’opération avec 2 seins et remonter avec 1 
… Troisième choc. Je fais une complication, à 21h je retourne en salle d’op , hémorragie, les points avaient pété, transfusion de sang , presque plus de globules rouge. La catastrophe mais je garde le courage, la force . Mes 2 amours de filles sont là je dois me battre. Je me remets de cette première intervention, premier rendez-vous chez l’oncologue et bien évidemment Sabrina tu ne vas pas échappé à la chimio, 4ème choc . Et voilà une autre étape : La perte des cheveux..Oups plus de féminité du tout. Mais pas grave ça repousse , le principal c’est de guérir. Le petit pantin suit son chemin. L’oncologue me fait une prise de sang génétique. Le jour de ma dernière chimio, je suis toute contente, puis elle arrive dans ma chambre et bam 5 ème choc : « Vous êtes porteuse du gène palb2 » et là… Je m’effondre à nouveau… Mes filles ? Elles devront faire le test à leur 18 ans. Puis en étant porteuse du gène, elle me dit qu’il faut enlever vos ovaires, l’utérus et l’autre sein. A 42 ans, pas facile tout cela… Mais petit pantin suit son chemin et fait tout pour que ce crabe ne revienne plus .
Fin août 2020, après avoir passé 1 an avec ce corps muté, à me regarder dans le miroir avec un seul sein, ce corps de femme qui ne ressemble plus à rien , une prothèse qui pèse dans mon soutien gorge adapté, me voilà en route pour la reconstruction , je n’ai jamais été aussi heureuse de me faire opérer. Je me souviendrais toujours de cet infirmière qui est venue me préparer pour descendre en salle d’opération et qui m’a dit : « Vous avez porté vos enfants dans votre ventre et bien maintenant ce qui a porté vos enfants sera votre sein reconstruit « Mes larmes coulent… Quelle jolie métaphore. Autour du chirurgien qui me dit » Quand vous allez vous réveiller vous allez poser votre main sur votre sein et tout va changer » .Chose faites après 10h d’opération et les larmes coulent encore. (Reconstruction par Diep avec graisse et peau de mon ventre).
Je n’ai toujours pas à l’heure actuelle de mamelon, ni téton. Finition en dernier mais me voilà avec 2 seins. 6 mois plus tard on se remet en route. Vu que je suis porteuse du gène, il faut enlever le sein gauche mais on me propose de garder l’enveloppe et de reconstruire avec la graisse de l’entre jambe. 8h d’opération un peu moins. Là, l’horreur mon sein est beaucoup plus petit, on voit le lambeau (c’est à dire un morceau de peau de ma jambe) Je suis partie pour 6 mois comme ça, le chirurgien me rassure en me disant que l’on va combler tout ça, que le lambeau va disparaître, que je ne dois pas m’inquiéter.
Aujourd’hui je suis à j – 5 pour ma prochaine opération, normalement l’avant dernière 
. Ça fera la 6 ieme en 2 ans. Mastectomie droite,hémorragie redescendue au bloc,mastectomie gauche, ovariectomie, hystérectomie, reconstruction droite, reconstruction gauche et maintenant équilibrage. Comme je dis le gros œuvre est fait il faut faire les finitions 
. J’ai 44 ans maintenant et je ne pouvais pas rester comme ça, je continue à me battre chaque jour, à garder le moral , ma force même si ce n’est pas toujours facile car cette petite pillule à prendre pendant 7 ans ne me facilite pas la vie . Mais encore une fois je suis là et la vie est belle. On peut dire qu’on la voit autrement après tout cela…
La reconstruction est très longue , pas facile de voir ce corps déformé mais tellement bon d’être là, de vivre, de profiter, de voir la vie autrement. Et bientôt je serai une super woman !
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